The Melodramatic Return of David Watts
Side One:
1. Shut Up and Listen to The Dorkies
2. Dr. Love
3. Jennifer (Track 3)
4. My Radio Song
5. Young and Stupid
6. The Guitar is Hard to Play
7. My Last Date (Valentine's Day)
8. I Want a Girl Who is Funnier than Me
Side Two:
1. What About Me?
2. When I Make You My Girlfriend
3. After You're Gone
4. Your Boyfriend Sucks
5. Quitting While I'm Ahead
6. A Bit Naive
7. Blond Hair, Blue Eyes, and Five Foot Two
8. Friday Night
|
The Melodramatic Return of David Watts
|
It's always hard to give a movie sequel a fair review as you always look back on the first film and usually end up comparing the two in an unfair matter. That was the problem I came across when I sat down in front of my computer and tried to write the review for The Dorkies latest album, "The Melodramatic Return of David Watts."
First things first: Logan wasn't lying when he said it was going to be played just for laughs. These may be some of the funniest dork rock songs ever written and are differently on par with the best of Nerf Herder, Logan's favorite dork rock band and obviously an inspiration for these songs. This presents the first problem with "David Watts:" It lacks the quality of the first. "A Party in My Pants" made us all laugh, but in a way where you knew there was a deeper meaning to what was being said. Logan was getting his point across with humor and a unique style. "David Watts" has humor, and yes, even a few deeper meanings here and there, but lacks all of the style that separated The Dorkies from other dork rock bands. "The Melodramatic Return of David Watts" adds little to the dork rock genre that hasn't been done before.
The album opens with a song that grabs your attention just with the title, "Shut Up and Listen to The Dorkies." Logan starts us off back on the same old path: Rock stars, unrequited love, and longing for days gone by (You should know these were the three main themes of Logan's favorite band, The Kinks). The song ends with what one could consider to be the only lesson gathered from the album: "Mama, don't let your kid grow up to be a Dorkie." This, in classic Dorkie matter, sets the stage of the rest of the album.
"Shut Up and Listen to The Dorkies" is followed by "Dr. Love," a song about the cult Lazy Bear Productions character that Logan played throughout high school. If anything, I picked up the message that he wishes he could relive those days in their full glory, but once again, the laughs replace any clear message that this reader could gather. The next two songs, "Jennifer (Track 3)," and "My Radio Song" are classic Dorkie humor with self-inflicting remarks such as "Even though my songs may suck, they sure make me a quick buck" and even a little inside attack on The Dorkies webpage: "I don't run a flashy porn page." "Young and Stupid," an obvious attack on Logan's love life, also doubles as an attack on rock stars in general, and it's only fitting that it's followed by "The Guitar is Hard to Play," a laugh-out-loud stab at all things Logan Lee. I found this song and the song that follows it, the hilariously romantic "My Last Date (Valentine's Day)," to be the best two songs the album had to offer, and it is only fitting that Logan closes side one with fireworks as he completely pisses off every girl that he has ever been involved with, including yours truly. "I Want a Girl Who is Funnier than Me" is the kind of song that fans love to hear, but hate to know what it is really saying. The overall message of the entire album is echoed throughout this song, and even if you haven't dated Logan you'll still want to send him hate mail while you laugh at how bold he was to sit there and say what he did.
"Side Two" (Splitting the albums into two sides seems to be a Dorkie trademark of sorts) opens with what may be the first Dorkie song written in The Ramones style, "What About Me?" You get the feeling that this would be the album punk song that runs under one minute. It's followed by a trilogy of three songs all about YOU (females in general), "When I Make YOU My Girlfriend," "After YOU're Gone," and "YOUR Boyfriend Sucks." While being three different songs, they all seem to deliver the same message of what "Jennifer (Track Three)" had to say: "I can't help it that I'm so hot and you can't help it that you're not." However, you can't stop laughing at some of the things Logan has said. The line "When I make you my girlfriend we can go see Carrot Top (and) we'll laugh at his wacky props" is right on par with the infamous "Kevin Bacon" line from "A Party in My Pants." Logan proves that he may not know much about love, but when it comes to comedy he's at the top of his game.
"Quitting While I'm Ahead" echoes the message of "The Story of Asshole and Slut" but obviously aimed at a different girl. There were times in this song that I felt like Logan went a bit to far (imagine "The First Time I Got Paid" with pictures), but the reader is always aware that he's going for the laughs, and no bigger meaning. "A Bit Naive" and "Blond Hair, Blue Eyes, and Five Foot Two" are about as romantic as Dorkie songs can be with hilarious lines such as "Sure, you know I'm going to miss you, but not as much as I hate you." Despite what you may think, Logan is NOT trying to piss his old girlfriends off. He's just trying to make them look at the consequences of their actions.
The album comes to a bitter close with the tell-all "Friday Night." Yes, it turns out Logan has actually been plugging this song for many months over at the official Dorkies site with his "Friday Night" section. The section, in case you've never read it, is famous for using people's name. In the past this has caused many a reader to send a letter to Logan asking that he remove their name. Well, here's revenge on all of you, because if you know Logan he talks about you in this song. Am I insulted? Yes. Should YOU be? Yes. Logan set out to insult everybody with comedy and my hat is off to him because, dammit, he did it. "Friday Night" closes on a rather sad, demanding note: "I never want to have to find another girl to fit my mind. This is the final line." However, don't stop reading there because Logan delivers one "hidden" track that gives new meaning to hidden tracks.
Overall, I should be fair because Logan told us month's back that this album was going to be played mostly for laughs. Maybe I'm a bit naive (hehe) to expect "deep" songs from a band called The Dorkies. Logan Lee and The Dorkies are NOT taking this album seriously, and maybe you shouldn't either.
*** out of five
-Christina
Number of times Chevy Chase was mentioned: ZERO! What the hell?
Number of times the word "Boyfriend" was used compared to "Girlfriend": 15 to 22
Names of people you may know who cameo: David Watts, Dr. Love, Ms. Dr. Love, Larry, Matt, Ryan, Jennifer, Sammy Hagar, Sarah, Jane, Lois Lane, Jessica, Ringo Starr, Christina, Vanessa, Artie, Tom Cruise, Rocky, Carrot Top, Raymond, Tom, Mr. T, Jon, Christopher Walken, Bruce Springsteen, The Kinks, Paula Abdul, Adrienne, Mister Holt, Wolfie, Olivia, Brian, Brownman, Fritz, The Lee's, Eleanor, Scamper, Zippy, Dave, JP, Roger Moore, and Moneypenny.
|
|
